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INSPIRATION!

This is the cover to The Dark of the Forest, one of my recent books.

 

That shot on the cover is a tribute to a panel from the Mad Magazine slasher parody Arbor Day. I'm not sure that I read it in the original issue (227), I probably saw it in the 1988 Gross-Outs special. Anyway, here's the whole story (Click to make it bigger. Oooh matron!):

30 - Final Post, Final Girls

Well, I say final post. It's just the final post of my 30 Days of Horror series. There will be blog posts in future, but they won't be anywhere near as frequent as this.

Today, we're looking at the final girl. What is a final girl?

Let's start with one of the best - Amy Steel as Ginny. When I think of final girls, this image is what comes to mind:

A defiant woman standing alone against the monster (human or otherwise) that has killed all her friends - that's a final girl to me. All that stuff about virginity/innocence and names that aren't gender-specific is irrelevant and muddies the issue. Ginny certainly isn't an innocent in the way final girls are usually categorized - she's got a boyfriend and doesn't appear to be a virgin, she heads off to the bar with the others - and her name is pretty damn feminine. She outlives the others through intelligence, courage and responsibility. 

So, what does all that virginity and innocence stuff actually mean? A lot less than the mythic weight it has accrued through repetition and misunderstanding. To understand it, we need to look at the final girl archetype, as embodied by Laurie Strode.

Laurie has a gender-neutral name, but she's not a tomboy - she's very maternal with the kids, wears skirts and is definitely interested in boys. As I noted back in my Halloween entry:

She’s less sexually active than her friends because she has trouble attracting men, but she has her eye on a guy so the thoughts are definitely there. Also, while she coughs on the joint she doesn’t seem surprised at the offer or unwilling to accept it.

Is Laurie a virgin? Probably, but I don't think that's necessarily through choice. If she'd had the chance, she'd probably go for it. She's not opposed to a sly spliff with the girls, which would suggest she holds a similar attitude to alcohol.

So, why the reputation which has passed on through slasherdom? Because she doesn't do that much "sin" on-screen, and, most importantly, after the killings have started.

That's what usually ends up saving final girls. It's not that they don't drink or have sex, it's just that they don't do it while the loony is about. Jess, the final girl in Black Christmas, wants an abortion - not something virgins tend to do. Annie in Halloween has packed off her charge to go have fun with Paul, and dies in her car as a result. She's not doing what she is supposed to, and pays the price. The same totally applies to Lynda and Bob, who are having sex in somebody else's house. They stop paying attention to their surroundings and pay the price when Michael comes calling.

Laurie, on the other hand, is very attentive and observant - which is what ultimately saves her. That and a straightened-out coat hanger, showing that she's also very resourceful. As is our next heroine - Nancy Thompson.

Nancy's resourceful nature goes a long way toward saving her life at the end of the film - it's her booby traps that take Freddy down. She's got a girl's name, and considering she's dating Johnny Depp I'd assume that his death scene isn't the only time he's gone down whilst on that bed. 

One of my favourite final girls is Taylor from Behind the Mask. Spoiler territory, but we're set up for the first 2/3 of the film to believe someone else is going to be the final girl before a brilliant reveal shows that she's not the person she's been played up as. Taylor's cliché credentials are all present and correct - she's quiet and withdrawn, has a genderless name, avoids the standard "sins" of slasher victims, and yet we're still expecting the final girl to be the one we're presented with.

But when thrust into the role, Taylor takes to it like a pro. She manages to bring Leslie Vernon down in true final girl style, and hopefully would have been front and centre to do so again had a sequel ever arisen. It's still not too late...

One of the reasons Ginny is so celebrated amongst slasher fans is that she's a far more interesting character throughout than many other final girls from the series. Let's raise a toast here to thingy from Friday the 13th Part III, wossname from Friday the 13th Part VII, her from Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare and that one from Urban Legends: Final Cut, you know, she was in House, Jennifer something.

For an interesting twist on final girliness, see Lauren McKnight as Skye Rotter in My Super Psycho Sweet 16.

She's pretty standard right up to the end, when she walks away and leaves the main bully in the hands of the killer. That's cold.

So, in conclusion, what have we learned? Final girls are cool, they don't have to be drug-free teetotal virgins named Sam, and they're at their best when intelligent, resourceful, responsible and brave.

Oh, and there's the thing about phallic weapons too. Most commonly available hand weapons are phallic, either due to aerodynamics or a thrusting motion when in use. Not even worth mentioning.

29 - What I Want From A Friday Sequel!

For my final Friday the 13^th Friday, a little on the future of the franchise. With the announcement of the next movie being due for Friday March 13th 2015, there’s a lot of chatter at the moment about the next movie being found footage, but I can’t see how or why someone would film Jason killing a bunch of people without getting a machete through the head.

   

Do we want a sequel to the last movie, or the original series? Well, as I said way back at the start of the month, there’s nothing on screen that explicitly confirms that it’s a remake:

 

There’s nothing to say that the flashback at the start isn’t supposed to be the events of the first movie, slightly altered through years of retellings as a campfire tale. Jason’s altered appearance? The last time we saw Jason before this was in the dreamworld at the end of FvJ, who know how he came back from that and what effect it had on him. Even down to the sack mask – his hockey mask had gone missing, he went with an alternative until he found it again.

It would actually be relatively easy to have a film that functions as a sequel to both. Unless you refer directly to specific events and just establish the basics, it’s pretty straightforward. Take the broad strokes approach – it’s worked for James Bond.

What are the essentials for a Friday the 13^th movie? Here’s the key elements:

Jason Voorhees is a big deformed killer in a hockey mask. He hangs out in the woods by Camp Crystal Lake, an old summer camp by a big lake and kills teenagers – mainly with a big machete. 

That’s it. Fill all that in, don’t actively contradict any of the last 12 movies and you’re set.

Then make sure that the victims are likeable. The odd jerk is fine, but when Jason hacks them up or impales them or burns them or defenestrates them, you should be unhappy. You need a collection of potential final girls and boys, and you shouldn’t be able to guess who it will be until they get there. Think of the original poster for The Texas Chain Saw Massacre – “Who will survive – and what will be left of them?”

A little thing, but don’t repeat any past kills. If you have a guy in a wheelchair, don’t hack him in the face and throw the chair down a staircase. If you want to kill someone in a sleeping bag, don’t smash it against a tree or string it up over a fire.

Should it be in the snow, as fans keep demanding? Only if they can do something with it. You need to have the lake frozen over, you need blood splatter on snow, you need visuals and deaths that evolve naturally from the winter setting and wouldn’t fit directly in any other film.

So, what do I want from the next Friday the 13^th film? Jason at Crystal Lake killing teens in inventive ways. That’ll do.

Oh, and a couple of tiny but essential things: Ki-Ki-Ki and also Ma-Ma-Ma.

28 - Songs From Horror Films

After yesterday’s wordy epic, here’s something a little more... YouTube-y. These are some songs used in horror movies, with very little accompaniment from me.

Bad Moon Rising – Creedence Clearwater Revival

An American Werewolf in London

Mr Sandman – The Chordettes

Halloween II

Brick House 2003 – Rob Zombie/Lionel Richie

House of 1000 Corpses

Kerncraft 400 (Shaun of the Dead version) - Zombie Nation 

Shaun of the Dead

Tom Hark -The Piranhas

Dog Soldiers

Tubular Bells – Mike Oldfield

The Exorcist

 

He’s Back (The Man Behind The Mask) – Alice Cooper

Friday the 13^th Part VI: Jason Lives

AM180 – Grandaddy

28 Days Later

All My Friends Are Dead – Turbonegro

Cold Prey

Blue Moon - The Marcels

An American Werewolf in London

26 - Great Blogs and Podcasts

As my limited run as a horror blogger nears the end, here’s a few other horror-related blogs you might like to peruse, and a couple of entertaining podcasts for good measure. See how I take care of (both) my readers?

 

http://www.freddyinspace.com/ - Freddy In Space. Infrequently updated now he writes for Fearnet, but there’s a decent archive to wade through. Despite the name and the entry chosen below, this isn’t all-Freddy or even all-slasher.

Sample entry:  http://www.freddyinspace.com/2013/06/a-closer-look-at-freddy-kruegers.html - A Closer Look at Freddy Krueger’s Prototype Gloves

 

http://finalgirl.blogspot.co.uk/ - Final Girl. Another pro-slasher, all horror blog. She vanished for a little while, then she unvarnished and stuff.

Sample entry: http://finalgirl.blogspot.co.uk/2013/07/one-of-my-favorite-activities-is-boring.html - Hello, this is murder calling

 

http://retroslashers.net/ - Retro Slashers. Not updated anywhere near frequently enough for me, this site’s still worth a browse.

Sample entry: http://retroslashers.net/misleading-slasher-trailers/ - Misleading slasher trailers

http://www.hudsonlee.com/ - Vegan Voorhees. The most frequently updated site out of all my choices, and probably my favourite one, not least for the massive amounts of Jason-love shown.

Sample entry: http://www.hudsonlee.com/13-things-to-love-about-friday-the-13th/ - 13 things to love about Friday the 13^th

 

http://the-bodycount-continues.com/main/viewpage.php?page_id=1 – The Hysteria Continues podcast. The combined forces of The Bodycount Continues horror message board and the Hysteria Lives website (home of Justin Kerswell, author of Teenage Wasteland) bring you an informative and often ludicrously silly guide to slashers, gialli, proto-slashers and more. Innuendo-laden fun awaits.

Sample episode: http://www.the-bodycount-continues.com/podcast/podcast_57.m4a - Girls’ Nite Out

 

 

http://geeknation.com/podcast/the-movie-crypt/ - The Movie Crypt with Green & Lynch. Hosted by Adam (Hatchet) Green and Joe (Wrong Turn 2) Lynch, this is a great show for horror fans and anyone with an interest in making films. Most episodes have a special guest from the world of horror, not just actors but writers, directors, make-up effects artists, costumers and more.  OK, so a lot of them are people who Green and/or Lynch have worked with, but why not get your buddies in?

Sample episode: http://geeknation.com/podcasts/the-movie-crypt-with-green-lynch-episode-13-cinematographer-will-barratt/ - Cinematographer Will Barratt

 

http://www.talkshoe.com/talkshoe/web/talkCast.jsp?masterId=99734&cmd=tc – Castle of Horror. Speaking of buddies, I’d be a bad friend if I didn’t mention the podcast my old chum Drew Edwards works on with some other people.

No direct links to shows for this one, but try their An American Werewolf in London episode.