GREAT MOMENTS IN POLICE HISTORY - PART 63
BY RUSSELL HILLMAN
GREAT MOMENTS IN POLICE HISTORY - PART 63
WRITER – RUSSELL HILLMAN ART - LETTERS -
Page 1, Panel 1:
A small square room with redbrick walls. Two plain clothed New York City Police Officers stand in front of a table. They are Patrick Murphy (pale skin, red hair, mildly chubby) and Hymie Goldberg (skinny, big nose, dark hair, bushy eyebrows). Behind the table is Luigi Vanzetti (fat, dark hair, expensive suit). We’re behind Vanzetti in this panel, looking at Murphy and Goldberg. Murphy is leaning on the table, Goldberg is hanging back. On the table are a glass of water, a large glass jug of water, a pen and a pad of paper.
NEW YORK CITY, 1942. DETECTIVES PATRICK MURPHY AND HYMIE GOLDBERG ARE INTERROGATING SUSPECT LUIGI VANZETTI.
OK, Vanzetti. Where were you on the third?
I ain’t tellin’ you nothin', copper.
Page 1, Panel 2:
Reverse angle to previous. Goldberg has now stepped forward and is speaking to Vanzetti.
Excuse us a second, Vanzetti. I need to speak to my partner here.
Take all the time you need. I guess I ain’t goin’ noplace.
Page 1, Panel 3:
A hallway outside the interrogation room. Murphy and Goldberg stand either side of the closed door to the interrogation room (which has a frosted glass panel in the upper half, with INTERROGATION ROOM 3 written on it). Murphy is lighting a cigarette.
This isn’t working. We need to try a new technique.
Agreed. We need to try to catch him off guard.
Page 1, Panel 4:
Continued from previous. Murphy exhaling a cloud of cigarette smoke.
What we need to do is come at him from two different directions.
Maybe play up two different personality types?
Page 1, Panel 5:
Back in the room. We’re seeing from Vanzetti’s perspective. Murphy is dressed for St Patrick’s Day, and has a pig under his arm. Goldberg is wearing a yarmulke on his head and a tallit over his shoulders and a big Star of David on a chain around his neck...
Faith and begorrah, you’ll be telling us where you was on the t’ird, to be sure, to be sure?
Oy vey! What is with this goy meshuggener?
FIRST ATTEMPT – IRISH COP, JEWISH COP
Page 1, Panel 6:
Back out in the hall. Murphy is putting the pig down.
That might not have been the best idea.
Never mind. I’ve got a whole bunch of others.
Page 2, Panel 1:
Back in the room. Vanzetti’s perspective. Goldberg and Murphy are back in their normal clothes. Goldberg’s tie is loose, his shirt is untucked and his hair is messy. He has a half-empty bottle of Manischewitz in his hand. Murphy is ultra-smart and is pouring from a thermos flask.
G’waaaan. Tell usssh where you was! I’ll be your besshtesht buddy!!
Would you like a black coffee?
DRUNK COP, SOBER COP
Page 2, Panel 2:
Vanzetti’s perspective again. Goldberg has a jaunty trilby on; he has smartened up again (except for the loosened tie) and is holding a microphone on a stand. Behind him, Murphy is in tails and a top hat and is tap-dancing.
Why don’t you sing like a bird -
Where were you on the night of the third?
SFX (FROM MURPHY’S FEET)
SINGING COP, DANCING COP
Page 2, Panel 3:
Back to the view from the opening panel (behind Vanzetti’s head). In their normal clothes, Murphy has his hands clutched in a pleading gesture. Goldberg has a fist raised in anger and a face to match.
Oh, please tell us where you were on the third. We’d be really grateful!
YOUR MOTHER WEARS ARMY BOOTS, YOU LOW-LIFE SCUM!
POLITE COP, ANGRY COP
Page 2, Panel 4:
Back in the hallway. Goldberg is on the left of the panel this time.
I think we had something there - it just needs a little fine tuning.
No way. This next one’ll work, you’ll see!
Page 2, Panel 5:
Back to Vanzetti’s perspective. Goldberg is wearing a comedically oversized sombrero but is otherwise normally attired. Murphy is dressed as a French chef complete with moustache, and is holding a covered tray of food.
Un chapeau, et... bœuf bourguignon! Voila!
HAT COP, FRENCH CHEF COP
Page 2, Panel 6:
Vanzetti’s perspective. Back in their normal clothes, Goldberg wears facepaints to look like a cat (very poorly done, just a few lines for whiskers and the tip of his nose coloured in black), Murphy is sitting on a horse. If the top of the panel cuts off Murphy’s head and shoulders, that would be perfect.
CAT COP, MOUNTED COP
Page 3, Panel 1:
Vanzetti’s perspective. Goldberg looks completely normal. Murphy is wearing a dress over his suit, a blonde wig and expertly applied make-up.
Bore da, boyo! Sut mae?
Do you like my new dress?
WELSH COP, LADY COP
Page 3, Panel 2:
This time, we’re behind Vanzetti again... Murphy is in his usual outfit doing a handstand, Goldberg is completely naked (Vanzetti’s head stops us seeing too much). No dialogue.
UPSIDE-DOWN COP, NUDE COP
Page 3, Panel 3:
Back to Vanzetti’s perspective. This one will be fun. Goldberg is dressed as famed French philosopher Henri Bergson (Google Image search is your friend). Murphy is in a marching band uniform, playing an imaginary sousaphone. (Again, Google Image search).
Genius is that which forces the inertia of humanity to learn.
HENRI BERGSON COP, SOUSAPHONE IMPERSONATION COP
Page 3, Panel 4:
At a make-up table in the corridor. Murphy is halfway through applying blackface to Goldberg, who is wearing a jacket with broad stripes.
I feel a little uncomfortable. Maybe we should skip this one?
Yeah, this doesn’t seem right.
LET’S CALL THIS ONE “AL JOLSON COP” AND MOVE ON.
Page 3, Panel 5:
Back in the room, back to Vanzetti’s perspective. Goldberg is in his normal clothes, Murphy has an obvious pillow stuffed up his shirt, and is holding a big cake.
C’mon buddy! If you tell us now, it’ll be a lot easier for you.
GOOD COP, FAT COP
Page 3, Panel 6:
Vanzetti’s perspective. This time, Murphy is in his normal outfit and Goldberg is dressed as a traditional mime artist and is walking into the wind.
Just tell us who else was there. That’s all.
GOOD COP, MIME COP
Page 4, Panel 1:
Back out in the corridor, back in their suits. Goldberg lights a cigar.
It’s no good. We’re never going to break him.
I’ve got one more idea. Just go with it. You go in first...
Page 4, Panel 2:
Behind Vanzetti’s head. Goldberg and Murphy are back in the room. Goldberg is pouring himself a drink from the big glass jug.
Come on, Vanzetti. We know you were there.
Page 4, Panel 3:
Goldberg pours the jug of water over his head.
Page 4, Panel 4:
On Vanzetti. He is contorted with laughter.
HA HA HA HA HA!
Page 4, Panel 5:
Continued from previous. Vanzetti has picked up the pen and holds it over the paper.
OK, that one was good.
I’ll tell you whatever you need to know.
Page 4, Panel 6:
Continued from previous. We see a Murphy and a soaking wet Goldberg from behind, stood by the table as Vanzetti writes out a confession. No dialogue.
And so, thanks to the pioneering work by
Murphy and Goldberg, we have the world-renowned
interrogation technique known as
GOOD COP, WET COP.