KILL MILL
This was written for a write-off contest in the creative forum on Millarworld. The challenge was to write a short script featuring the death of a character that Mark Millar had written.
I chose... well, see for yourself.
Page 1
Panel 1.
Night. We are on the roof of a tall office block in Gotham City. The usual rooftop pipes, access door etc. There are some taller buildings around, but not many. BATMAN, MARTIAN MANHUNTER, ARSENAL, WONDER GIRL and WILDCAT. Arsenal is scanning the skies with a pair of high-tech binoculars. Large panel, taking up half the page.
CAPTION
Note – this story takes place before JLA #115
ARSENAL
He’s not coming
WILDCAT
He’ll be here.
Panel 2
Close-up on Wonder Girl. She is looking up at Batman, confused.
WONDER GIRL
I’m still not sure exactly why I’m here.
BATMAN
He did you a big favor once.
BATMAN (CONT)
I’m hoping he will again.
Panel 3
Batman has turned to talk to the Martian Manhunter.
BATMAN
Anything yet?
MARTIAN MANHUNTER
His kind are largely undetectable to me. But I sense… something.
Panel 4
Side view of Batman. He is looking at a large pipe. Wide enough for someone to hide behind.
BATMAN
He’s here.
BATMAN (CONT)
SHOW YOURSELF.
Panel 5
Close-up on the pipe… a shadowy figure is stepping out from behind it.
SHADOWY FIGURE
A’reyt. Calm yuirself, Brucie.
Page 2
Splash page.
Viewed slightly from above, crane-shot style. The shadowy figure has stepped out from the shadows, and is now fully visible. The group stand in front of him in a rough semi-circle. We can only see the faces of Wonder Girl at one end of the group, who looks shocked, and an expressionless Martian Manhunter. The shadowy figure wears a black v-neck sweater and blue jeans. He is medium height, average build, short brown hair.
He is…
MARK MILLAR
A’m Millar.
Page 3
Panel 1
Wonder Girl and Millar. She still looks surprised. Millar looks faintly smug.
WONDER GIRL
But he’s so… ordinary. I was expecti… I mean, I’ve met Zeus…
MILLAR
I know. I’ve written you.
MILLAR (CONT)
Wonder Woman #153. Gayest thing I ever wrote.
Panel 2
Still with Millar and Wonder Girl. She still looks surprised. Millar is counting off on his fingers.
MILLAR
Makeover from Arrowette, giant Minotaur, a kiss from Superboy… ring any bells?
WONDER GIRL
You wrote all that?
Panel 3
Pull back a little. Batman has now stepped over. Martian Manhunter is beside him. Millar is still talking to Wonder Girl.
MILLAR
Aye. I’ve written a lot of yous.
MILLAR (CONT)
No fer ages, mind.
MARTIAN MANHUNTER
Which is why you’re here.
Panel 4
Close-up on Millar. Give him some room. He’s got a lot to say.
MILLAR
Alls I know is Morrison calls me out of the blue and says “J’onn J’onnzz wants a wee chat”. So I go round to Grant’s, and he’s doing his whole Great Soprendo bit.
MILLAR (CONT)
He waves his hands around a wee bit, shoves his hand down his keks… I think he was having a quick hand-shandy, the perv… and then piff-paff-poof, I’m back here again.
Panel 5
Millar and the Martian Manhunter. The Manhunter is his usual passive self.
MILLAR
So, you know Grant then? You know who we are?
MARTIAN MANHUNTER
Animal Man… Buddy… introduced us. They meet up every so often.
Martian manhunter (cont)
I learned of his existence during a mind-scan*. I have kept it a secret from all but a few.
CAPTION
*See JLA annual #3
Panel 6
We pull back again to see the others now, standing by the Manhunter. He and Millar are still talking.
MILLAR
So… what am I doing here?
MARTIAN MANHUNTER
We require your assistance.
Page 4
Panel 1
Millar, the Manhunter and Batman. Batman is looking downward, almost ashamed.
BATMAN
Things have happened… things beyond even my control.
MILLAR
Beyond yuir control, Brucie? Are ye sure?
Panel 2
Millar and Batman. Batman is right up in Millar’s face. He looks angry. Millar is taken aback.
BATMAN
STOP. CALLING. ME. THAT.
MILLAR
Wow! That really does work.
Panel 3
A montage. A weeping Elongated Man, Atom, Robin and Speedy (Mia). A beaten and bruised Blue Beetle.
BATMAN - CAPTION (ON BLUE BACKGROUND)
Things have been going wrong. Very wrong.
Panel 4
Close up on Millar. Confused.
MILLAR
I heard. Still, this disnae ha’ anything tae do wi me. A’m Marvel Boy nowadays.
Panel 5
Batman, Martian Manhunter, Wonder Girl and Millar. Wonder Girl looks confused.
WONDER GIRL (SMALLER LETTERS)
Not sure where Disney comes into it, you big scotch weirdo…
MARTIAN MANHUNTER
We have need of your… abilities.
Panel 6
Close up on Millar. He is waving his hands around for non-specific emphasis.
MILLAR
If ye want a writer, why not Grant? He’s all “Godlike, dayglo, I love the Silver Age” about yous. He’s yuir man.
Panel 7
Martian Manhunter and Millar. The Manhunter looks bored and dismissive. Millar looks confused.
MARTIAN MANHUNTER
“My DCU is a day-glo, non-stop funhouse, where the world is threatened every five minutes and godlike beings clash in the skies like fireworks”. I know. That’s all I hear…
MARTIAN MANHUNTER (CONT)
That’s not what we need.
MILLAR
Then wha d’ye want me for?
Panel 9
Close-up on Arsenal.
ARSENAL
You’ve got a big mouth.
Page 5
Panel 1
Arsenal and Millar.
MILLAR
And yui’r named aftair a jessie London football team, ye big junkie! Get tae f***, West Ham!
ARSENAL
OK, I’m getting about one word in seven here, man. J’onn? Wanna step back in?
Panel 2
Arsenal and Millar again, the Martian Manhunter steps in.
MARTIAN MANHUNTER
Roy is correct. Your notoriously loose-lipped nature is what makes you an asset here.
MARTIAN MANHUNTER (CONT)
Morrison refused to inform us who was responsible for our situation… but he mentioned that you may be a little more forthcoming.
Panel 3
Millar and the Manhunter. Wildcat is in the background. Curiously, he is pouring a large bourbon.
MILLAR
So a’m here because a’ like tae gossip? Is tha’ it?
MARTIAN MANHUNTER
I have heard the tale of Stan Lee and the strip club. The flight with Neve Campbell.
MARTIAN MANHUNTER (CONT)
I hear alcohol is an essential part of the tongue-loosening process. Wildcat has some bourbon he assures me is of the highest quality.
Panel 4
Close up on Millar
MILLAR
Oh no. If a’m breaking the big writer’s secret code, if a’m tellin’ ye who’s tae blame fae yuir misfortunes, a want more than a dram or five.
MILLAR (CONT)
A want a slice a the big man.
Panel 5
Millar and Batman
BATMAN
I’m sorry…?
MILLAR
Don’t gi me that. Yous know wha I want. If yez know anything about me, yez know exactly wha a want.
MILLAR (CONT)
A want the big blue fella. A want tae write Superman.
Panel 6
Close-up on Batman
BATMAN
We’re sure that can be arranged.
Now, please… if we could just have the name?
Page 6
Panel 1
Close-up on Millar.
MILLAR
Meltzer, Johns, Winick. And Rucka. Especially Rucka. Somebody needs tae step in an save Clark frae him ‘fore it gets any worse.
MILLAR (CONT)
Gail Simone’s a’reet though. Brubaker too. Grant’s done good by a few a yous. Leave them be.
MILLAR (CONT)
And get Levitz. Twice.
Panel 2
Batman is shaking hands with Millar, with his left hand. Millar holds it between his hands.
BATMAN
Thank you for this.
MILLAR
Nae problem, big bam.
MILLAR (CONT)
One other thing though.
Panel 3
Close up on Millar. He looks angry.
MILLAR
JUST HOW STUPID D’YE THINK A AM?
Panel 4
Millar ranting as the group reacts. They are backing away, almost scared… except for a grim Batman and the expressionless Manhunter.
MILLAR
A didnae come in on the last bus frae Niddrie, ye get me?
MILLAR (CONT)
First of all, odd mix… except we’ve got the exposition guy, the innocent, the young hotshot, the intense scary one and the old-timer. A wee bit too bloody convenient if ye ask me.
Panel 5
More Millar. Of the others, we can only see Batman, Wildcat and Arsenal.
MILLAR
And speaking of the old-timer… I’ve never written ye before. Or Crystal-bloody-Palace here or whatever the f*** he’s called. Anyone would think ye’re only here tae represent the JSA and the Ootsiders…
MILLAR (CONT)
But then a realised...
Panel 6
Millar again, this time we can only see Arsenal and Wildcat with him.
MILLAR
Ye’ve both got symmetrical costumes.
MILLAR (CONT)
In fact… ye’ve all got symmetrical costumes.
Panel 7
Millar on one side, the whole group on the other. Batman in front. He is almost pleading.
BATMAN
You’re babbling. The dimension jump can do that.
MILLAR
Babbling now, is it?
MILLAR (CONT)
Yuir no left-handed, Brucie! Yuir a reflection!
Panel 8
Millar pushes Batman back against the others. They are all shattering.
MILLAR
YUIR ALL REFLECTIONS!
Page 7
Panel 1
Millar, raging now, shouting into the night sky.
MILLAR
SHOW YUIRSEL’ MCCULLOCH!
MILLAR (CONT)
SHOW YUIRSEL’, OR MORRISON WRITES YEZ A BIG BLACK BOYFRIEND!
Panel 2
Millar, slightly calmer now. Back to talking instead of shouting.
MILLAR
“Oh, yuir such a sensitive lover Chunk. Let me just bend over and pick this up, and… oh no. Ma keks have fallen doon…”
Panel 3
Millar, getting shot in the back mid-sentence.
MILLAR
“And me with nae lube or URK!”
SFX
BLAM!
Panel 4
We are on a neighbouring rooftop with Flash rogues PLUNDER and MIRROR MASTER. Plunder has just shot Millar with a sniper rifle, the standard wisp of smoke coming from the barrel. Mirror Master looks happy. He has his hand in his pocket. (Yes, that costume has pockets. )
MIRROR MASTER
Christ, that man doesnae shut it for a second, does he?
MIRROR MASTER (CONT)
Well, except fae now…
Panel 5
Plunder is in the background dismantling his rifle, while in the foreground mirror Master makes a call on a cellphone.
MIRROR MASTER
That’s for Spidey, ye doss… Mr Johns? Aye, the wee radge is goan.
MIRROR MASTER (cont
Remember what yez promised… three fit wee lassies an issue, and maybe a bairn down the line… Mr Johns? Ah, ye…! The doss c***’s hung up!
Panel 6
Plunder stands behind Mirror Master.
PLUNDER
His accent was quite strong, wasn’t it? Almost as strong as yours…
MIRROR MASTER
Well, a wouldnae be surprised if he was being written by some fat bald speccy wee radge somewhere. Still, either way, a’m glad he’s goan.
Panel 7
Back to Millar, laying dead on a rooftop.
MIRROR MASTER - CAPTION (GOLDEN BACKGOUND)
After all, naebody likes a grass.
CREDIT BOX
KILL MILL
Russell Hillman – Loaded the gun
(Artist’s name) – Aimed
(Colourist’s name) – Fired
(Letterer’s Name) – Kept a lookout
(Editor’s name) – Next on the hitlist
By the way - yes he is. Flash 80-Page Giant #1, Aug ’98 cover date. Final story.
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