Last one for now. This was another Millarworld Creative Forum write-off contest - this time the challenge was to write a story with Millar's Nemesis character facing off against a character from another comic. Once again, I went for a slightly left-field option...
LAST REQUESTS
A Nemesis/Phonogram tribute script by Mock Millar and The Bootleg Gillen
Before we begin you’re going to need some reference material. Now, I’m guessing that you’re familiar with what Nemesis looks like, seeing as this is a Nemesis-based contest. However, you may not be familiar with the other characters, so here’s a helping hand.
This - http://phonogramcomic.com/pgsc01page01.html - is a link to the first issue of Phonogram: The Singles Club. Go ahead and read it. I’ll wait.
You done? Good, isn’t it?
A couple of things you’ll need to take from that story. Firstly, the venue – that’s where this story takes place. Secondly, the two people in the DJ booth. They are SETH BINGO and THE SILENT GIRL. Finally, the 2x4 layout to some of the pages. We’re going with that. Yes, if you’ve read the rest of The Singles Club you’ll remember that the issue about Seth Bingo & The Silent Girl had a 2x3 layout, but this is my comic not Kieron’s.
With that in mind... off we go.
PAGE 1
PANEL 1:
We’re in the club. Seth Bingo and The Silent Girl are in the DJ booth. He is wearing a t-shirt with a large picture of an industrial chimney on it. He is talking to a moron punter in a pair of scary skinny jeans and a polo shirt with the collar turned up and about three bad haircuts at once. Silent Girl, who is wearing a charming little black dress – smart and classic – is putting on a record. You can tell because she’s leaning forward with one hand whilst holding one side of a set of big headphones to one ear. We’re seeing them from straight on, and we will continue to do so unless advised otherwise. When the panels allow, add in the odd dancer or two. The club isn’t that busy, but it’s still going OK.
CAPTION
French Navy – Camera Obscura
MORON PUNTER
Can you play Shania Twain, That Don’t Impress Me Much? Please?
SETH BINGO
What?
PANEL 2:
Focus in just on the moron and Seth. The moron looks pissed off, while Seth is in full rant.
SETH BINGO
Is it your Hen Night? How sweet. Or maybe it’s a request for your Grandma. Is she here? Where’s Nana? Does she want to hear St Winifred’s School Choir too?
MORON PUNTER
No, it’s... y’know. A bit of cheesy fun.
PANEL 3:
Close up on Seth. This time, face on. He is pointing off-panel (to the door).
SETH BINGO
Well, it isn’t, is it? It’s awful. Utterly, irredeemably awful. As are you. Leave now.
SETH BINGO (CONTINUED)
You’re not allowed in this place any more. In fact, you’re not allowed in any place any more. From now on, you are no longer allowed in places.
PANEL 4:
Back to the original straight-on shot. The moron is storming off. Seth is ranting at The Silent Girl, who is holding up a CD case and barely acknowledging him.
SETH BINGO
Cheesy fun! The “So Bad It’s Good” beast rears her ugly head once again. There is no such thing as ironic appreciation - people like him are just born without a functioning taste muscle.
SETH BINGO (CONTINUED)
Track six.
PANEL 5:
OK, this one is complicated so stick with me. This is the panel where Nemesis shows up, and it’s going to be visually complex. You want to give the impression that this is a panel from another issue shown from a different angle.
We see Nemesis from behind. He’s in a big transparent bubble. In front of the bubble we see the sound effect:
SOUND EFFECT
VWORP! VWORP!
But we’re seeing it from behind, so the letters are backwards. Sounds a little stupid, but it could look pretty cool.
PANEL 6:
Visually following on from the previous panel, like it’s one wide panel with a dividing gutter in-between. We see Seth Bingo staring at Nemesis while the Silent Girl does her headphone thing.
CAPTION
Wish I Didn’t Miss You – Angie Stone
PANEL 7:
Seth is back to ranting again, while the Silent Girl flicks through her CDs.
SETH BINGO
What kind of an outfit is that? All in white but with big boots and a cape. Christian Disco Goth?
SETH BINGO (CONTINUED)
He’s an overly macho poser in milky-white lycra. I’m expecting him to ask for Total Eclipse of the Heart.
PANEL 8:
Nemesis pulls a gun on Seth.
SETH BINGO
Or maybe some Celine... Di...on...
NEMESIS
Hello. I’m going to kill you.
PAGE 2:
PANEL 1:
Continuing directly on from the previous panel. Seth looks nervously at Nemesis.
SETH BINGO
And with that inordinately large firearm, you probably could.
SETH BINGO (CONTINUED)
But may I please ask you why? Sir?
PANEL 2:
Angle on Nemesis, pointing his gun directly at the reader.
NEMESIS
For fun.
NEMESIS (CONTINUED)
And because you’re an asshole.
PANEL 3:
Seth’s self-confidence is starting to return now, despite the firearm.
SETH BINGO
Is that all?
SETH BINGO (CONTINUED)
Look around the room. There’s not a single person here that doesn’t think I’m an arsehole. Him. Her. Her. Kohl. Him. Her. Kohl. They all hate me. I don’t care.
PANEL 4:
Seth’s ego is pretty much back now. It’s as if he doesn’t have a gun pointed at his head. Which he does.
SETH BINGO
Now, what do you want me to play?
NEMESIS
Play?
PANEL 5:
Start getting in closer to Seth.
SETH BINGO
This is a club. I am a DJ. If you are approaching me, it is because you want to hear a particular song.
SETH BINGO (CONTINUED)
Besides, you’re about to shoot me. Am I not entitled to one last request?
PANEL 6:
Closer in on Seth now. He’s holding up three fingers. He’s on a roll here.
SETH BINGO
We have three rules. Briefly, they are no boy singers, you must dance, and NO MAGIC. That one is important.
PANEL 7:
On Nemesis. Gun still raised, but he’s looking confused. This is not standard loser-at-gunpoint behaviour.
NEMESIS
How about Amy Grant – Baby Baby?
PANEL 8:
On Seth. He looks mockingly at Nemesis.
SETH BINGO
If I have to play that song for you then I am quite frankly glad that I am about to be shot, for I would never be able to live with myself after playing that.
SETH BINGO (CONTINUED)
I can’t play that song. It will clear the dancefloor... everyone will go home.
PAGE 3;
PANEL 1:
On Nemesis. He looks heartbroken. No dialogue.
PANEL 2:
On Nemesis again. His evil grin is returned.
NEMESIS
Oh, wait. I have a gun pointed at your head.
NEMESIS (CONTINUED)
Play it.
PANEL 3;
Silent Girl is putting it on. Seth looks nervous. Nemesis smiles.
CAPTION
Baby, Baby – Amy Grant.
NEMESIS
When the vocals kick in, I pull the trigger.
PANEL 4:
Extreme close-up on the gun. Nemesis’ trigger finger is tightening. No dialogue.
PANEL 5/6;
This time, a proper widescreen panel right across the page. Nemesis is fading away. As are the few other visible dancers. Seth is smiling a sly smile. Silent Girl is holding up a vinyl single.
SETH BINGO
What did I say? “It will clear the dancefloor. Everyone will go home”.
SETH BINGO (CONTINUED)
Interdimensional assassins. They never listen...
PANEL 7:
Seth Bingo and the Silent Girl in the booth. In front of them is an empty dancefloor. Silent Girl hands Seth the single.
SILENT GIRL
This?
SETH BINGO
Do you need to ask?
PANEL 8:
A second after the previous panel. Seth looks slightly happy. Silent Girl is once more doing the headphones thing.
CAPTION
You Keep Me Hanging On - The Supremes.
SETH BINGO
At least Kohl’s gone.
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