Wednesday 26 October 2011

What a comic book script looks like when I do it: 3 of 3

Last one for now. This was another Millarworld Creative Forum write-off contest - this time the challenge was to write a story with Millar's Nemesis character facing off against a character from another comic. Once again, I went for a slightly left-field option...

LAST REQUESTS

A Nemesis/Phonogram tribute script by Mock Millar and The Bootleg Gillen

Before we begin you’re going to need some reference material. Now, I’m guessing that you’re familiar with what Nemesis looks like, seeing as this is a Nemesis-based contest. However, you may not be familiar with the other characters, so here’s a helping hand.

This - http://phonogramcomic.com/pgsc01page01.html - is a link to the first issue of Phonogram: The Singles Club. Go ahead and read it. I’ll wait.

You done? Good, isn’t it?

A couple of things you’ll need to take from that story. Firstly, the venue – that’s where this story takes place. Secondly, the two people in the DJ booth. They are SETH BINGO and THE SILENT GIRL. Finally, the 2x4 layout to some of the pages. We’re going with that. Yes, if you’ve read the rest of The Singles Club you’ll remember that the issue about Seth Bingo & The Silent Girl had a 2x3 layout, but this is my comic not Kieron’s.

With that in mind... off we go.

PAGE 1

PANEL 1:
We’re in the club. Seth Bingo and The Silent Girl are in the DJ booth. He is wearing a t-shirt with a large picture of an industrial chimney on it. He is talking to a moron punter in a pair of scary skinny jeans and a polo shirt with the collar turned up and about three bad haircuts at once. Silent Girl, who is wearing a charming little black dress – smart and classic – is putting on a record. You can tell because she’s leaning forward with one hand whilst holding one side of a set of big headphones to one ear. We’re seeing them from straight on, and we will continue to do so unless advised otherwise. When the panels allow, add in the odd dancer or two. The club isn’t that busy, but it’s still going OK.

CAPTION
French Navy – Camera Obscura

MORON PUNTER
Can you play Shania Twain, That Don’t Impress Me Much? Please?

SETH BINGO
What?


PANEL 2:
Focus in just on the moron and Seth. The moron looks pissed off, while Seth is in full rant.

SETH BINGO
Is it your Hen Night? How sweet. Or maybe it’s a request for your Grandma. Is she here? Where’s Nana? Does she want to hear St Winifred’s School Choir too?

MORON PUNTER
No, it’s... y’know. A bit of cheesy fun.


PANEL 3:
Close up on Seth. This time, face on. He is pointing off-panel (to the door).

SETH BINGO
Well, it isn’t, is it? It’s awful. Utterly, irredeemably awful. As are you. Leave now.

SETH BINGO (CONTINUED)
You’re not allowed in this place any more. In fact, you’re not allowed in any place any more. From now on, you are no longer allowed in places.


PANEL 4:
Back to the original straight-on shot. The moron is storming off. Seth is ranting at The Silent Girl, who is holding up a CD case and barely acknowledging him.

SETH BINGO
Cheesy fun! The “So Bad It’s Good” beast rears her ugly head once again. There is no such thing as ironic appreciation - people like him are just born without a functioning taste muscle.

SETH BINGO (CONTINUED)
Track six.


PANEL 5:
OK, this one is complicated so stick with me. This is the panel where Nemesis shows up, and it’s going to be visually complex. You want to give the impression that this is a panel from another issue shown from a different angle.

We see Nemesis from behind. He’s in a big transparent bubble. In front of the bubble we see the sound effect:

SOUND EFFECT
VWORP! VWORP!

But we’re seeing it from behind, so the letters are backwards. Sounds a little stupid, but it could look pretty cool.


PANEL 6:
Visually following on from the previous panel, like it’s one wide panel with a dividing gutter in-between. We see Seth Bingo staring at Nemesis while the Silent Girl does her headphone thing.

CAPTION
Wish I Didn’t Miss You – Angie Stone


PANEL 7:
Seth is back to ranting again, while the Silent Girl flicks through her CDs.

SETH BINGO
What kind of an outfit is that? All in white but with big boots and a cape. Christian Disco Goth?

SETH BINGO (CONTINUED)
He’s an overly macho poser in milky-white lycra. I’m expecting him to ask for Total Eclipse of the Heart.


PANEL 8:
Nemesis pulls a gun on Seth.

SETH BINGO
Or maybe some Celine... Di...on...

NEMESIS
Hello. I’m going to kill you.



PAGE 2:

PANEL 1:
Continuing directly on from the previous panel. Seth looks nervously at Nemesis.

SETH BINGO
And with that inordinately large firearm, you probably could.

SETH BINGO (CONTINUED)
But may I please ask you why? Sir?


PANEL 2:
Angle on Nemesis, pointing his gun directly at the reader.

NEMESIS
For fun.

NEMESIS (CONTINUED)
And because you’re an asshole.


PANEL 3:
Seth’s self-confidence is starting to return now, despite the firearm.

SETH BINGO
Is that all?

SETH BINGO (CONTINUED)
Look around the room. There’s not a single person here that doesn’t think I’m an arsehole. Him. Her. Her. Kohl. Him. Her. Kohl. They all hate me. I don’t care.


PANEL 4:
Seth’s ego is pretty much back now. It’s as if he doesn’t have a gun pointed at his head. Which he does.

SETH BINGO
Now, what do you want me to play?

NEMESIS
Play?


PANEL 5:
Start getting in closer to Seth.

SETH BINGO
This is a club. I am a DJ. If you are approaching me, it is because you want to hear a particular song.

SETH BINGO (CONTINUED)
Besides, you’re about to shoot me. Am I not entitled to one last request?


PANEL 6:
Closer in on Seth now. He’s holding up three fingers. He’s on a roll here.

SETH BINGO
We have three rules. Briefly, they are no boy singers, you must dance, and NO MAGIC. That one is important.


PANEL 7:
On Nemesis. Gun still raised, but he’s looking confused. This is not standard loser-at-gunpoint behaviour.

NEMESIS
How about Amy Grant – Baby Baby?


PANEL 8:
On Seth. He looks mockingly at Nemesis.

SETH BINGO
If I have to play that song for you then I am quite frankly glad that I am about to be shot, for I would never be able to live with myself after playing that.

SETH BINGO (CONTINUED)
I can’t play that song. It will clear the dancefloor... everyone will go home.





PAGE 3;

PANEL 1:
On Nemesis. He looks heartbroken. No dialogue.


PANEL 2:
On Nemesis again. His evil grin is returned.

NEMESIS
Oh, wait. I have a gun pointed at your head.

NEMESIS (CONTINUED)
Play it.


PANEL 3;
Silent Girl is putting it on. Seth looks nervous. Nemesis smiles.

CAPTION
Baby, Baby – Amy Grant.

NEMESIS
When the vocals kick in, I pull the trigger.


PANEL 4:
Extreme close-up on the gun. Nemesis’ trigger finger is tightening. No dialogue.


PANEL 5/6;
This time, a proper widescreen panel right across the page. Nemesis is fading away. As are the few other visible dancers. Seth is smiling a sly smile. Silent Girl is holding up a vinyl single.

SETH BINGO
What did I say? “It will clear the dancefloor. Everyone will go home”.

SETH BINGO (CONTINUED)
Interdimensional assassins. They never listen...


PANEL 7:
Seth Bingo and the Silent Girl in the booth. In front of them is an empty dancefloor. Silent Girl hands Seth the single.

SILENT GIRL
This?

SETH BINGO
Do you need to ask?


PANEL 8:
A second after the previous panel. Seth looks slightly happy. Silent Girl is once more doing the headphones thing.

CAPTION
You Keep Me Hanging On - The Supremes.

SETH BINGO
At least Kohl’s gone.

What a comic book script looks like when I do it: 2 of 3

KILL MILL

This was written for a write-off contest in the creative forum on Millarworld. The challenge was to write a short script featuring the death of a character that Mark Millar had written.

I chose... well, see for yourself.

Page 1

Panel 1.
Night. We are on the roof of a tall office block in Gotham City. The usual rooftop pipes, access door etc. There are some taller buildings around, but not many. BATMAN, MARTIAN MANHUNTER, ARSENAL, WONDER GIRL and WILDCAT. Arsenal is scanning the skies with a pair of high-tech binoculars. Large panel, taking up half the page.

CAPTION
Note – this story takes place before JLA #115

ARSENAL
He’s not coming

WILDCAT
He’ll be here.

Panel 2
Close-up on Wonder Girl. She is looking up at Batman, confused.

WONDER GIRL
I’m still not sure exactly why I’m here.

BATMAN
He did you a big favor once.

BATMAN (CONT)
I’m hoping he will again.

Panel 3
Batman has turned to talk to the Martian Manhunter.

BATMAN
Anything yet?

MARTIAN MANHUNTER
His kind are largely undetectable to me. But I sense… something.

Panel 4
Side view of Batman. He is looking at a large pipe. Wide enough for someone to hide behind.

BATMAN
He’s here.

BATMAN (CONT)
SHOW YOURSELF.

Panel 5
Close-up on the pipe… a shadowy figure is stepping out from behind it.

SHADOWY FIGURE
A’reyt. Calm yuirself, Brucie.

Page 2

Splash page.

Viewed slightly from above, crane-shot style. The shadowy figure has stepped out from the shadows, and is now fully visible. The group stand in front of him in a rough semi-circle. We can only see the faces of Wonder Girl at one end of the group, who looks shocked, and an expressionless Martian Manhunter. The shadowy figure wears a black v-neck sweater and blue jeans. He is medium height, average build, short brown hair.

He is…

MARK MILLAR
A’m Millar.

Page 3

Panel 1
Wonder Girl and Millar.  She still looks surprised. Millar looks faintly smug.

WONDER GIRL
But he’s so… ordinary. I was expecti… I mean, I’ve met Zeus…

MILLAR
I know. I’ve written you.

MILLAR (CONT)
Wonder Woman #153. Gayest thing I ever wrote.

Panel 2
Still with Millar and Wonder Girl. She still looks surprised. Millar is counting off on his fingers.

MILLAR
Makeover from Arrowette, giant Minotaur, a kiss from Superboy… ring any bells?

WONDER GIRL
You wrote all that?

Panel 3
Pull back a little. Batman has now stepped over. Martian Manhunter is beside him. Millar is still talking to Wonder Girl.

MILLAR
Aye. I’ve written a lot of yous.

MILLAR (CONT)
No fer ages, mind.

MARTIAN MANHUNTER
Which is why you’re here.

Panel 4
Close-up on Millar. Give him some room. He’s got a lot to say.

MILLAR
Alls I know is Morrison calls me out of the blue and says “J’onn J’onnzz wants a wee chat”. So I go round to Grant’s, and he’s doing his whole Great Soprendo bit.

MILLAR (CONT)
He waves his hands around a wee bit, shoves his hand down his keks… I think he was having a quick hand-shandy, the perv… and then piff-paff-poof, I’m back here again.

Panel 5
Millar and the Martian Manhunter.  The Manhunter is his usual passive self.

MILLAR
So, you know Grant then? You know who we are?

MARTIAN MANHUNTER
Animal Man… Buddy… introduced us. They meet up every so often.

Martian manhunter (cont)
I learned of his existence during a mind-scan*. I have kept it a secret from all but a few.

CAPTION
*See JLA annual #3

Panel 6
We pull back again to see the others now, standing by the Manhunter. He and Millar are still talking.

MILLAR
So… what am I doing here?

MARTIAN MANHUNTER
We require your assistance.

Page 4

Panel 1
Millar, the Manhunter and Batman. Batman is looking downward, almost ashamed.

BATMAN
Things have happened… things beyond even my control.

MILLAR
Beyond yuir control, Brucie? Are ye sure?

Panel 2
Millar and Batman. Batman is right up in Millar’s face. He looks angry. Millar is taken aback.

BATMAN
STOP. CALLING. ME. THAT.

MILLAR
Wow! That really does work.

Panel 3
A montage. A weeping Elongated Man, Atom, Robin and Speedy (Mia). A beaten and bruised Blue Beetle.

BATMAN - CAPTION (ON BLUE BACKGROUND)
Things have been going wrong. Very wrong.

Panel 4
Close up on Millar. Confused.     

MILLAR
I heard. Still, this disnae ha’ anything tae do wi me. A’m Marvel Boy nowadays.

Panel 5
Batman, Martian Manhunter, Wonder Girl and Millar. Wonder Girl looks confused.

WONDER GIRL (SMALLER LETTERS)
Not sure where Disney comes into it, you big scotch weirdo…

MARTIAN MANHUNTER
We have need of your… abilities.

Panel 6
Close up on Millar. He is waving his hands around for non-specific emphasis.

MILLAR
If ye want a writer, why not Grant? He’s all “Godlike, dayglo, I love the Silver Age” about yous. He’s yuir man.

Panel 7
Martian Manhunter and Millar. The Manhunter looks bored and dismissive. Millar looks confused.

MARTIAN MANHUNTER
“My DCU is a day-glo, non-stop funhouse, where the world is threatened every five minutes and godlike beings clash in the skies like fireworks”. I know. That’s all I hear…

MARTIAN MANHUNTER (CONT)
That’s not what we need.

MILLAR
Then wha d’ye want me for?

Panel 9
Close-up on Arsenal.

ARSENAL
You’ve got a big mouth.


Page 5

Panel 1
Arsenal and Millar.

MILLAR
And yui’r named aftair a jessie London football team, ye big junkie! Get tae f***, West Ham!

ARSENAL
OK, I’m getting about one word in seven here, man. J’onn? Wanna step back in?

Panel 2
Arsenal and Millar again, the Martian Manhunter steps in.

MARTIAN MANHUNTER
Roy is correct. Your notoriously loose-lipped nature is what makes you an asset here.

MARTIAN MANHUNTER (CONT)
Morrison refused to inform us who was responsible for our situation… but he mentioned that you may be a little more forthcoming.

Panel 3
Millar and the Manhunter. Wildcat is in the background. Curiously, he is pouring a large bourbon.

MILLAR
So a’m here because a’ like tae gossip? Is tha’ it?

MARTIAN MANHUNTER
I have heard the tale of Stan Lee and the strip club. The flight with Neve Campbell.

MARTIAN MANHUNTER (CONT)
I hear alcohol is an essential part of the tongue-loosening process. Wildcat has some bourbon he assures me is of the highest quality.

Panel 4
Close up on Millar

MILLAR
Oh no. If a’m breaking the big writer’s secret code, if a’m tellin’ ye who’s tae blame fae yuir misfortunes, a want more than a dram or five.

MILLAR (CONT)
A want a slice a the big man.

Panel 5
Millar and Batman

BATMAN
I’m sorry…?

MILLAR
Don’t gi me that. Yous know wha I want. If yez know anything about me, yez know exactly wha a want.

MILLAR (CONT)
A want the big blue fella. A want tae write Superman.

Panel 6
Close-up on Batman

BATMAN
We’re sure that can be arranged.

Now, please… if we could just have the name?

Page 6

Panel 1
Close-up on Millar.

MILLAR
Meltzer, Johns, Winick. And Rucka. Especially Rucka. Somebody needs tae step in an save Clark frae him ‘fore it gets any worse.

MILLAR (CONT)
Gail Simone’s a’reet though. Brubaker too. Grant’s done good by a few a yous. Leave them be.

MILLAR (CONT)
And get Levitz. Twice.

Panel 2
Batman is shaking hands with Millar, with his left hand. Millar holds it between his hands.

BATMAN
Thank you for this.

MILLAR
Nae problem, big bam.

MILLAR (CONT)
One other thing though.

Panel 3
Close up on Millar. He looks angry.

MILLAR
JUST HOW STUPID D’YE THINK A AM?

Panel 4
Millar ranting as the group reacts. They are backing away, almost scared… except for a grim Batman and the expressionless Manhunter.

MILLAR
A didnae come in on the last bus frae Niddrie, ye get me?

MILLAR (CONT)
First of all, odd mix… except we’ve got the exposition guy, the innocent, the young hotshot, the intense scary one and the old-timer. A wee bit too bloody convenient if ye ask me.

Panel 5
More Millar. Of the others, we can only see Batman, Wildcat and Arsenal.

MILLAR
And speaking of the old-timer… I’ve never written ye before. Or Crystal-bloody-Palace here or whatever the f*** he’s called. Anyone would think ye’re only here tae represent the JSA and the Ootsiders…

MILLAR (CONT)
But then a realised...

Panel 6
Millar again, this time we can only see Arsenal and Wildcat with him.

MILLAR
Ye’ve both got symmetrical costumes.

MILLAR (CONT)
In fact… ye’ve all got symmetrical costumes.

Panel 7
Millar on one side, the whole group on the other. Batman in front. He is almost pleading.

BATMAN
You’re babbling. The dimension jump can do that.

MILLAR
Babbling now, is it?

MILLAR (CONT)
Yuir no left-handed, Brucie! Yuir a reflection!

Panel 8
Millar pushes Batman back against the others. They are all shattering.

MILLAR
YUIR ALL REFLECTIONS!

Page 7

Panel 1
Millar, raging now, shouting into the night sky.

MILLAR
SHOW YUIRSEL’ MCCULLOCH!

MILLAR (CONT)
SHOW YUIRSEL’, OR MORRISON WRITES YEZ A BIG BLACK BOYFRIEND!

Panel 2
Millar,  slightly calmer now. Back to talking instead of shouting.

MILLAR
“Oh, yuir such a sensitive lover Chunk. Let me just bend over and pick this up, and… oh no. Ma keks have fallen doon…”

Panel 3
Millar, getting shot in the back mid-sentence.

MILLAR
“And me with nae lube or URK!”

SFX
BLAM!

Panel 4
We are on a neighbouring rooftop with Flash rogues PLUNDER and MIRROR MASTER. Plunder has just shot Millar with a sniper rifle, the standard wisp of smoke coming from the barrel. Mirror Master looks happy. He has his hand in his pocket. (Yes, that costume has pockets. )

MIRROR MASTER
Christ, that man doesnae shut it for a second, does he?

MIRROR MASTER (CONT)
Well, except fae now…

Panel 5
Plunder is in the background dismantling his rifle, while in the foreground mirror Master makes a call on a cellphone.

MIRROR MASTER
That’s for Spidey, ye doss… Mr Johns? Aye, the wee radge is goan.

MIRROR MASTER (cont
Remember what yez promised… three fit wee lassies an issue, and maybe a bairn down the line… Mr Johns? Ah, ye…! The doss c***’s hung up!

Panel 6
Plunder stands behind Mirror Master.

PLUNDER
His accent was quite strong, wasn’t it? Almost as strong as yours…

MIRROR MASTER
Well, a wouldnae be surprised if he was being written by some fat bald speccy wee radge somewhere. Still, either way, a’m glad he’s goan.

Panel 7
Back to Millar, laying dead on a rooftop.

MIRROR MASTER - CAPTION (GOLDEN BACKGOUND)
After all, naebody likes a grass.

CREDIT BOX
KILL MILL
Russell Hillman – Loaded the gun
(Artist’s name) – Aimed
(Colourist’s name) – Fired
(Letterer’s Name) – Kept a lookout
(Editor’s name) – Next on the hitlist

By the way - yes he is. Flash 80-Page Giant #1, Aug ’98 cover date. Final story.